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Perched in your throat,
it is like a prayer;

an exhalation
against your palms,

soft as a secret
in the womb.


          How weightless we are
          under the tender moon

          in this enchanted twilight.

"In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars." The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

This poem might be a teeny bit inspired by the The Great Gatsby. :paranoid: I actually found the book very difficult to get into, story-wise. I think Fitzgerald's writing is absolutely beautiful (I adore the quote I've included above), but I just didn't find the story compelling. However, it definitely picked up towards the end, and, having seen the film, I'll definitely be giving it a re-read at some point. I might have to buy my own copy or something though, as I read my sister's copy, which she would only let me read on the condition that I didn't bend the spine...

Anyway, any comments are much appreciated! :heart: I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the formatting, as well. I initally had something that was a bit more... broken (sort of like in 'Sweven' and 'Splits lips upon stars'), but eventually thought that maybe something simpler would be better.

Also, two poems in one month! :O 


Featured
    by =DailyLitDeviations here
    by `dreamsinstatic in Friday Night Features CII


17/07/13
Thank you so much to =Riemea for suggesting and ^Beccalicious for featuring this! (Please send some love their way :love:)
Thank you all for the lovely comments and favs. I'm afraid that I won't be able to personally thank for favs (if only work wasn't keeping me so busy :crying:), but they are greatly appreciated. I will reply to every comment soon though. Thank you! :heart:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-07-17
Moon-spun moths by `cality ( Suggested by Riemea and Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :aww:
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Most welcome!
Reply
:iconmatthewlittle:
MatthewLittle Featured By Owner Edited Jun 13, 2014  Student Writer
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I do like that last line. :nod:
Reply
:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful poem! I tried to read the Great Gatsby, but I got bored after the first few pages.  =P 
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Haha, it's quite slow at the beginning but it gets more interesting towards the end. :giggle:
Reply
:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
hm, maybe I'll try reading it again then... I just get bored easily, so we'll have to see how that works out. :XD:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
At least it's a pretty short novel though. :D

What kind of books do you normally like reading?
Reply
:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner May 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
yeah I was surprised by how short it was! only like a hundred pages! :O

i prefer YA fiction or action/adventure/fantasy type. :nod: sometimes I'll read out of my genre if someone recommends a book or I hear lots of good stuff about it, but generally I prefer fiction. (= 
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed. :D

Sounds quite like me actually! :highfive: Is there anything you'd recommend? :la:
Reply
:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:nod:

really? :D well I really loved the Graceling series, (I don't remember who the author is though :P) Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Dr. Bird's Advice for Sad Poets, Navigating Early, The Selection, Divergent, The Hunger Games... that's all I can think of off the top of my head. XD 
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, Graceling! I've had some trouble with that book (so haven't managed to read the series). Lots of people have said it's really good, but I just couldn't get into it! :noes:

LOVE Harry Potter, and I enjoyed Divergent and The Hunger Games too. :D
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconandsisko:
andsisko Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Nice poem, i decided to make it illustration of it. Check it out at andsisko.deviantart.com/art/Dr…
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! And gosh, that's really lovely of you, I'm glad my poem could inspire you! <3
Reply
:iconandsisko:
andsisko Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
😊 thanks to you 
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:iconitalynekokawaii:
italynekokawaii Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Student Writer
Amazing poem. Though I wonder if there is more meaning to this (obviously yes)? Would you mind explaining to me? I think its is very beautiful but I'd love to hear what you were thinking as you wrote it.
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for such a nice comment!

I was actually mostly thinking of The Great Gatsby when I wrote this poem. :nod:
Reply
:iconitalynekokawaii:
italynekokawaii Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Student Writer
Ah, very nice. I love'd that book. Haven't seen the new movie yet but would like to. :) I invite you to check out my new page see if you like my writing!
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The movie was pretty good!

:glomp:
Reply
:icon7markus7:
7markus7 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013
very beautiful poem
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Thanks for the :+fav:, too. :)
Reply
:iconmehreenfreed:
MehreenFreed Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I JUST FOUND OUT. OH MY GOD. DD? OH MY GOODNESS.
:w00t::w00t:
C O N G R A G U L A T I O N S
:party::lol::party:
--
Well done you!
The poem is fantastic. I love how with a few words you create a story which lingers on with the reader.
This is quite a pleasant surprise.Love Clap
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much indeed! :love:

Thank you also for your incredibly lovely comment on my other poem – I will reply to it later, when I'm less sleepy and can write a proper reply. :giggle:

:tighthug:
Reply
:iconfranthepan:
franthepan Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Professional General Artist
Again, sounds nice enough to me! I like the choice of words... can't think of the correct English terms for it, sorry! Like metaphors or similes, but probably not.:p 'How weightless we are, under the tender moon, in this enchanted twilight' is my fave part. :)
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thank you very much! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. :hug:
Reply
:iconghearradh:
ghearradh Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2013
this is a lovely piece! 
congratulations of the DD, dear. it is well deserved. :)
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! Thank you for the watch as well (although I will get round to giving a 'proper' thanks soon!). :glomp:
Reply
:iconghearradh:
ghearradh Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:love:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013   General Artist
Congratulations on the DD on such a stunning piece, sweetheart! :tighthug:
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, Dee! :huggle:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013   General Artist
you're most welcome, cality honey :love:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013   Writer
Oh, my gosh! I'm so happy to see this as a DD! It's such a remarkable poem and it totally deserves it. :love:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconchancerox:
chancerox Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
softly beautiful. you really are a talented writer :) 
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:thanks: Thank you!
Reply
:iconmagikapple:
Magikapple Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Beautiful! :love:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! <3
Reply
:iconmagikapple:
Magikapple Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Digital Artist
:D You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconthemask02:
TheMask02 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Student General Artist
I :heart: THISSS :glomp: :hug: :clap:
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconthemask02:
TheMask02 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student General Artist
yw! ^^ 
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
Reply
:iconthemask02:
TheMask02 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Student General Artist
:hug: ^^ 
Reply
:iconschriftsteller:
schriftsteller Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013   Writer
Beautiful, fresh, and as soft as a breath. Wonderful work for such a short poem-- you've encapsulated so much emotion and a story into a few lines. I've never read Gatsby but I can see the connection by the quote you chose. Congrats on your DD-- it's lovely lovely work!
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! I've been re-reading your lovely comment a lot today and it makes me smile every time. :love:
Reply
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